By Mahdi Abdulla Murad
AUI-S Voice Staff Reporter
www.auisvoice.org
Some say AUI-S may be Western but their viewpoints are very Eastern
Some AUI-S students say they feel caught between cultures as they explore a more Western style of relationships in an Eastern place.
Many are trying to figure out the rules of friendships and relationships while studying at an American university for the first time.
Laylan Amir, 19, from Sulaimani, said she is a strong advocate for the friendship between men and women.
“For me I don’t see any differences,” she said. “It is just like girls with girls.” But she is worried about what other people think, she said.
“I don’t believe in love, and I will never do it while I’m studying because it has bad effects on my studying,” she said.
But Renas Hassan, 19, from Ranya, said she personally does believe in love.
“It’s not important for me that a person whom I want to be my future partner to be near or far,” she said. “The important is that I want someone that should be difficult to be seen. I don’t want to be with him every time and everyday because you can’t enjoy anything when you don’t have any difficulties with it.”
Haven Gulabakh, 19, from Sulaimani, said that when she first came to the University, she didn’t talk to anyone. Now she talks to both men and women.
“I have a normal relationship with boys, but still I have to know them better,” she said. “I will decide to be their friends so as to understand each other very well and to avoid misunderstanding.”
She criticized the way students sometimes choose their friends at the University by social class.
“Friendship depends on the student’s personalities,” she said.
Khende Zrar, 20, from Erbil, said her friendships with men are stronger because she doesn’t like what women talk about.
“Girls always talk about something that I hate to talk about such as family, vacations, their goals, clothes and they always proud their selves, but boys will never talk about such things, so I’m happier to be friend with boys than girls,” she said.
Ryan Bubalo, the deputy director of the EWPLI program, added his thoughts.
“I think the relationship between boys and girls is really helpful with a nice balance of men and women in any sort of diversity,” he said. “It leads to better discussion, and it helps to more dynamic classrooms.
Bubalo said it is not impossible to be in love at the University but too much of anything can be a bad thing.
“it has bad effect in the process of studying if they talk to each other for four hours per night. Part of the college is to know a lot of different people. If you spend all your time with just one person, talking with just one person, or thinking only about one person, then you miss a lot of opportunities around you,” he explained.
Ali Farooq, 22, from Baghdad, said he came from an all-boys school before AUI-S.
“First when I entered AUI-S, I felt really enthusiastic because I saw a strong relationship between boys and girls, especially when they walk and talk to each other without any differences,” he said, adding that he is one of the strong advocator for being in love.
“Being in love is really helpful if you act with it normally,” he said. “I will be in love if I have a chance.“
Saman Mahir, 20, from Duhok, said there are not enough women at AUI-S, and he suggested that AUI-S should accept more women than men.
“We have a small number of girls at AUI-S,” he said. “More girls should be accepted by AUI-S than boys.”
Peter Friedrich, the AUI-S director of athletics, said what is happening at AUI-S is not unique.
“Respecting each other and understanding the difficulties of studying here at AUI-S is a good place to start any relationship,” he said.
Friedrich says that love could be amazing disaster.
“Love can be a potential disaster anywhere, but also has potential for some others amazing thing,” he said. “If it didn’t have those qualities, we will have less love songs and romantic movies [like] Titanic, for example.”
Rojgar Ahmad, 21, from Sulaimani, said AUI-S doesn’t give students enough time to fall in love.
“Students have a lot of study,” she said. “They just have time to study and do their homework. They don’t have time to spend with their boyfriends and girlfriends.”
www.auisvoice.org
Some say AUI-S may be Western but their viewpoints are very Eastern
Some AUI-S students say they feel caught between cultures as they explore a more Western style of relationships in an Eastern place.
Many are trying to figure out the rules of friendships and relationships while studying at an American university for the first time.
Laylan Amir, 19, from Sulaimani, said she is a strong advocate for the friendship between men and women.
“For me I don’t see any differences,” she said. “It is just like girls with girls.” But she is worried about what other people think, she said.
“I don’t believe in love, and I will never do it while I’m studying because it has bad effects on my studying,” she said.
But Renas Hassan, 19, from Ranya, said she personally does believe in love.
“It’s not important for me that a person whom I want to be my future partner to be near or far,” she said. “The important is that I want someone that should be difficult to be seen. I don’t want to be with him every time and everyday because you can’t enjoy anything when you don’t have any difficulties with it.”
Haven Gulabakh, 19, from Sulaimani, said that when she first came to the University, she didn’t talk to anyone. Now she talks to both men and women.
“I have a normal relationship with boys, but still I have to know them better,” she said. “I will decide to be their friends so as to understand each other very well and to avoid misunderstanding.”
She criticized the way students sometimes choose their friends at the University by social class.
“Friendship depends on the student’s personalities,” she said.
Khende Zrar, 20, from Erbil, said her friendships with men are stronger because she doesn’t like what women talk about.
“Girls always talk about something that I hate to talk about such as family, vacations, their goals, clothes and they always proud their selves, but boys will never talk about such things, so I’m happier to be friend with boys than girls,” she said.
Ryan Bubalo, the deputy director of the EWPLI program, added his thoughts.
“I think the relationship between boys and girls is really helpful with a nice balance of men and women in any sort of diversity,” he said. “It leads to better discussion, and it helps to more dynamic classrooms.
Bubalo said it is not impossible to be in love at the University but too much of anything can be a bad thing.
“it has bad effect in the process of studying if they talk to each other for four hours per night. Part of the college is to know a lot of different people. If you spend all your time with just one person, talking with just one person, or thinking only about one person, then you miss a lot of opportunities around you,” he explained.
Ali Farooq, 22, from Baghdad, said he came from an all-boys school before AUI-S.
“First when I entered AUI-S, I felt really enthusiastic because I saw a strong relationship between boys and girls, especially when they walk and talk to each other without any differences,” he said, adding that he is one of the strong advocator for being in love.
“Being in love is really helpful if you act with it normally,” he said. “I will be in love if I have a chance.“
Saman Mahir, 20, from Duhok, said there are not enough women at AUI-S, and he suggested that AUI-S should accept more women than men.
“We have a small number of girls at AUI-S,” he said. “More girls should be accepted by AUI-S than boys.”
Peter Friedrich, the AUI-S director of athletics, said what is happening at AUI-S is not unique.
“Respecting each other and understanding the difficulties of studying here at AUI-S is a good place to start any relationship,” he said.
Friedrich says that love could be amazing disaster.
“Love can be a potential disaster anywhere, but also has potential for some others amazing thing,” he said. “If it didn’t have those qualities, we will have less love songs and romantic movies [like] Titanic, for example.”
Rojgar Ahmad, 21, from Sulaimani, said AUI-S doesn’t give students enough time to fall in love.
“Students have a lot of study,” she said. “They just have time to study and do their homework. They don’t have time to spend with their boyfriends and girlfriends.”
